Bicharne Wale....................

Bicharne walay
Chalay jo ho to bata k jao
Keh kitni shaamein udaas aankhon main kaatni hein
Keh kitni subhain akelay pan mein guzaarni hein
Bata k jao Keh kitne sooraj azaab rastoon ko dekhna hai
Keh kitne mehtaab sard raatoon ki wusaton se nikaalne hein
Bata k jao keh chaand raatoon mein waqt kaise guzaarna hai
Khamosh lamhoon mein tujh ko kitna pukaarna hai
Bata k jao keh kitne lamhay shumaar karne hein hijr raton ke
Keh kitne mousam aik aik kar k judaiyon mein guzaarne hein
Bata k jao keh panchiyon ne akele pan ka sabab jo poocha
Tou kaya kahoon ga?
Bata k jao ..main kis se tera gila karoon ga
Bichar kay tujh se habib..kis se mila karoon ga
Bata k jao keh aankh barsi to kon moti chuna karay ga
Udaas lamhon mein dil ki dharkan suna karay ga
Bata k jao k mousamon ko payam dene hein ya nahee hain
Falak ko, taron ko, jugnu’on ko salam dene hein ya nahee hain
Bata k jao k kis pe hai aitebaar karna
To kis ki baaton pe be-niazi kay silsale ikhtiyar karna
Bata k jao k abb ravviyoon ki chaal kiya ho
Jawaab kiya ho, sawaal kiya ho
Arooj kiya ho, zawaal kiya ho
Nighah, rukhsaar, zulff, chehra ..nidhaal kiya ho
Bata k jao keh meri halat pe chandni khikhila pari to main kya karoon gi
Bata k jao k meri soorat pe teergi muskara parri touMain kiya karoon gi
Bata k jao k tum ko kitna pukaarna hai
Bicharr k tujh se ye waqt kaise guzaarna hai
Ujaarna hai? nikhaarna hai?
Chalay jo ho tou bata kay jaokay loutna bhi hai ya................????????

Samajh jana keh wo hoon main

Agar main dur ho jaon
To palkon ko jhapak daina
Agar ansu koi giraay
Samajh jana keh wo hoon main

Hathaili saamnay rakhna
Keh sab aansuu giraay us main
Jo ruk jaye ga hounto per
Samajh jana keh wo hoon main

Kabhi jo chand ko daikho
To tum yun muskura dena
Keh phirr baadal bhi aajayee
Samajh jana keh woh hoon main

Jo chal jayee hawa thandi
To ankhain band ker laina
Jo jhonka taiz ho ssab say
Samajh jana keh wo hoon main

Jo zeeyada yaad aaon main
To tum ro laina jee bher ker
Agar hichki koi ayee
Samaj jana keh wo hoon main

Agar tum bholnaa chaho
Mujhay shayad bhula do tum
Magar jab saans aye gii
Samajh jana keh wo hoon main.....!!

If These Walls Could Talk

If these walls could talk,
you'd know my body is dead,
my mind has been taken over,
that's why I am so scared,
I can't control it,
anger is making me blind,
I've been left here on my own
chained to a hate of some kind.
If these walls could talk.

If these walls could talk,
you'd know about my fears,
about all those nights I screamed for help,
about all my fallen tears.
You'd know about the demons
haunting me at night,
you'd be able to help me
keep my fire alight,
if these walls could talk.

If these walls could talk
they would say that it's all right,
God sends His angels
to look over me at night.
They'd encourage me,
say though I am alone
it doesn't mean I‘m on my own.
He watches me, from above
and showers me with all His love,
if only these walls could talk.

The One For Me

Whenever I look around me and find people getting support and love of their family, friends and loved ones, I often think and try to figure this out that "Is there no one in this whole wide world who could be my support pillar, who could stand beside me in all thicks and thins." But then the soul answers all my confusions, that Dear there are some people who have so many supports with them, they basicaly come to take love of parents, relatives and friends. But there are few who come to this world to live a lonely life. Such people don't get anyone in their whole life whom they can call them as their own.

But then again a question pops out from within my mind and that is, "Why The Great God chose this category for me, why not the other way round.?"

Looking past, into my childhood, I have always heard voices like," Don't do this to him/her, you should be aware that you are older." Nobody bothered about the feelings of this lil girl. Anyone could come to my parents and say anything about me, and they would start taking me for granted. All the time I used to look for those eyes, which I used to hope will look into mine and wil say, "Don't worry, I am here and I will see who castes a bad eye on 'My Deepali'

Days gone by, years gone by, the journey of life made me a wife, daughter in law, and then a mother, but my search was incomplete. At last after 31 years of my life I found someone whom I thought as "My Angel".

I got everything from him, love, respect, understanding, and all that I could wish for in this world. Time flew by, they are right , the time spent in love always flew away soon, in a hurry.
It tested our love, on hot metals, boiling waters, but it was adamant, I started feeling secure under that warmth.
My Angel gave me everything, Mothers touch and care, dad's concern, a siblings naughty pranks, a friends suggestions and straight forward answers, a teachers lessons and of course a lovers adoration.I was a complete woman. Under his protection I started to flourish and bloom. He protected me from the evils of this world by covering me with his Wings of love and security.
I was the happiest woman.

But then came a big testing time. This was the time where I needed a person who should stand by me, and I was pretty sure the time has come, The Almighty has given me that person now, who will show the world, not to say anything to My Deepali. All confident I started the journey to face the world, But then, what was this? I was again alone, lonely looking here and there for someone, for those two 'EYES who would look at me with love and assure me of their presence, Two Hands who would hold mine and say, "Mein hoo Na".

But no, that was not the case, people's acquisitions went on cutting my throat, my nerves and straight to my soft heart, but that look and touch was nowhere to be seen. I found myself standing alone again at the aisle where there was deep waters on both sides, where to go was uncertain. My heart was crying in pain and agony but no one came to wipe the tears, no one.

The blooded heart cried a lot, it was shattered, into small, tiny pieces never to be mended. I asked God, why, why he has not made a single heart who could beat only for me, a single hand which could be fitted in only my clinched fist, a single glance who could only look at me or at the same direction where I look at. WHY? WHY? WHY?

YOU have made 'ONE' for everyone, buy why not for me. I am still yearning to hear that voice who could say" Dont you dare say anything to her, she is not alone I am with her"

But now I think my search is finished, That feeeling has vanished.
Enough of this world, people will come and go, but no one will be courageous enough to be at my side, they have pierced my heart so often, now it has become immune. The heart cries, always, Yes I mean it always, but the world see only my smiles and giggles. I will never ever show and expose the real side of myself, the agony and pain of my heart, my sufferings, my tears but will always be a happy and contended one in front of everyone coz now I know that no one is made for me, no one. God sent me alone to face the dangers and testings of this world. So why should I wait for someone now when no body is made for me.

But I will never forget the life that I spent with my Angel, he made me live a whole life in one year. He is simply the best. May be he will have his own problems which disabled him to stand by me. No worries, Angel no grudges against you. You are simply the best. I cant afford to hate you.

But one thing is sure for now, Now I will not look for such a hand or a pair of eyes. Now I am aware that I am ALONE, ALONE AND ALL ALONE.

PAIN

People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain."

Un-break My Heart

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back my smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The nights are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart

Take back that sad work good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss this pain away
I can't forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is so cruel without you here beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Brings back the nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many, many nights
Un-break my

Un-break my heart
Come back and say you love me
Un-break my heart
Sweet darlin'
Without you I just can't go on
Can't go on

I Cant Breathe

you could've told me what to say
or how to pass the days
without thinking of you

rather than picking up the pieces
i'm throwing in the towel
...i cant breathe without you

even though you wouldn't think twice
about driving in the knife
to tear apart my heart

but still you try...

THE BREAK MY HEART BLUES

Don’t wanna feel the pain no more
Won’t be the same as before
Wish I’d never walked out that door
Now I know what I’m lookin’ for
And it ain’t you, I done paid my dues
Wish you could walk a mile in my shoes
Here’s the news…I’m a bit confused
Got a case of the break my heart blues

Now that we’re apart, I need a brand new start
The question is: can I ever trust my heart again?
Can I trust my heart, not to fall apart?
I’m as sad and lonely as I’ve ever been
The question is: can I ever trust my heart again?

The heart can trick you and it can deceive you
The heart can prick you and it can grieve you
The heart can bend you and it can break you
But I could never leave or forsake you

Built my world around you
I'm just glad I found you
Didn’t mean to doubt you
it’s not the same without you
I’m as sad and lonely as I’ve ever been
The question is: can I ever trust my heart again?

Don’t wanna feel the pain no more
Won’t be the same as before
Wish I’d never walked out that door
Now I know what I’m lookin’ for
And it ain’t you, I done paid my dues
Wish you could walk a mile In my shoes
Here’s the news…I’m a bit confused
Got a case of the break my heart blues

I asked you to be mine and you declined
In fact you down right refused
I hate to lose so I blew my fuse
and got a case of the break my heart blues
Wish you could walk a mile in my shoes
I done paid my dues, here's the news
Got a case of the break my heart blues
Got a case of the break my heart blues

In Times Of.............

My soul drifts aimlessly in times of hopelessness.
It searches tirelessly for meaning and truth ...Yet finds no direction.
My heart bleeds quietly in times of loneliness.
It yearns to find warmth and happiness ...
Yet it somehow eludes me.
My eyes seek out visions in times of want.
They gaze endlessly through the blackness that envelops them ...
Yet they cannot see the light.
My ears listen earnestly in times of silence.
They search for familiar sounds to comfort and console ...
Yet they cannot penetrate the darkness that surrounds me.
My arms reach out frantically in times of despair.
They seek strength and compassion to enfold me ...
Yet they find nothing substantial to enwrap.
My mind cries out desperately in times of solitude.
It poses intense questions that demand answers ...
Yet there are none to be found.
***My hand reaches out earnestly in these times of confusion.
It dials the number of a familiar and calming voice ...
And gratefully, my lifeline to sanity ... remains intact.

Lost Once Again........

Life they say, come only once. But if it has to be for only once then why cant we live it our own way. Why everyone wants to show us the way, wants to lead us to some unknown directions? Why cant we be there where this heart wants to be, why cant we be with those who love us, why are we with them who only want us for our material objects, money, appearance, work etc. Oh God! If this is LIFE, then please call me to ur world, and dont ever give me this DEATH, with the name LIFE, I wanna be free now, wanna fly too high like a bird. I want to leave this diplomatic society and go to the world where I can breathe, where I can "LIVE".
People here dont like others to be in happiness and in love, they dont understand what damage they can do to ones heart by talking whatsoever come in their mind.

Same happened with me. In my whole life I didnt get anyone who thought about me, about my happiness but when I got him, I was on the top of the world, I think u can understand and u know I was on the highest CLOUD. But then this world, and the cruel people of this world could not see my happiness and snatched HIM, My ANGEL my God from me.
What to do, how to do, where to go, How to go, I am again a lost child, looing for the only person whom I could call mine. Just feel like killing everyone, but Cant do this, so wanna kill myself, wanna end everything. But will it be a happy ending of my story, But then I think its far better than living in a lost land without my MENTOR, MY ANGEL, MY GOD.

SOME THINGS IMPORTANT

1.) Don’t ask him “do you miss me?” “Do you love me?”. He will say it if he really misses you or loves you. But if you ask him, it would make him proud to ignore you

2.)let him know you like him when it’s available. You might not have the answer you want, but at least you try and you wont regret in the future.

3.) Buy good quality clothes, and find a good quality man. He doesn’t have to be rich or handsome, but he has to make you feel happy and secure.

4.) If someone said something upset you, try to forgive him. He would be regret he lost a good girl like you.

5.) If so unfortunately you met a man only aim for sex, please smiles first then despise him: You are the most disgusting loser I ever met in the world. Then walk away with your grace.

6.) If a man uses busy as excuse not to meet you or reply your email, not care what you are now and not share the life with you, please leave him bravely.
Nothing is more important than caring you. Love a man who doesn’t love you, you are wasting you time.

7.) Love the person who loves you. If only you love him or only he loves you, please leave. You don’t need someone pretends caring you, and you don’t need to pretend caring someone.

8.) Be a wise girl, learn to cope with challenge and be positive. Life would be as you wish, as the sun rising in the east.

9.) If a man says he love you, believe him. When he says he doesn’t love you, believe him too. Always tell yourself, it’s lucky to leave a man who doesn’t love you.

10.) Learn to live with pain. Some words should be buried in heart only; some pain should be forgotten quietly. Experience made you grown.

Is This What Life Is All About

As I lay here in my dark, and lonely room,
filled with sadness , and with gloom.
I listen for your breathing, but it's not there.
I reach to touch you, but touch only air.
In my heart is a loneliness that I alone must bare.

I feel all around me there is no one who really cares.
So, forgive me if I must cry out
"Is This What Life Is All About?"
to feel so empty, and cast out.

Where are the ones who said they cared!
Where are the ones who said they would always be there!
So, as I lay here in my dark, and lonely room ,
filled with sadness, and with gloom.
Forgive me if I must cry out,
"Is This What Life Is All About?"

Reality

Reality is that slap in the face
When you think you have the world by the tail
And life seems to be moving at your own pace
When you feel like there is no way you can fail.

Reality is there to open your eyes
When you find you were walking with them closed
And it shows you a sight that can surely make you cry
Because with reality, it shows you what you already know.

Reality breaks a person's heart and soul
And destroys dreams and hopes that a person feels
The truth and only truth is reality's only goal
And it doesn't care whose world that it might kill.

Reality keeps me in a state of mind
That I know it has complete control
But sometimes my dreams overtake reality I find
And love lives for a while in my heart and soul.

Reality is not fair.
Reality does not care.

Confessions Of A Broken Heart

Pain... Tension... Fatigue...
Depression...
Anger, Aggression, Frustration.
All these unwanted sensations -
Burning, hurting, tearing.
My heart alone, cold and fearing.
Why won't you let me sleep, let me rest,
Let me forget
To eradicate, eliminate, destroy all my regrets?
These memories inside, swirling, twirling,
unwilling to reside in the corner of my mind.
Repeating, resisting, insisting -
Refusing to be denied its recognition
Of its position in my
Frustration, Confusion, Delusion.
Ah, to close my eyes and let time fly by,
Because there's so much to gain
By forgetting these dreams driving me insane.
Unfocused, unclear, out of control,
My world spinning, spinning, spinning,
My sanity flying through the door.
My reason, my logic, oh, it's tragic,
Like fine sands running through my hands,
I'm losing my mind.

My Rose

I wanted to plant a beautiful rose,
One so sweet and beautiful to the eye.
I planted a single seed, made sure it was watered, gave it sunlight - which
Shined brightly onto the soil.

Days came and went,
Nights passed away;
My rose finally began to grow!

Soon my rose began to bud.
What a beautiful sight to see!
I had given birth to my own,
And what a joyous occasion it was!
So precious; I wanted to stay with it day and night.
How its life gave vibrance and sweet simplicities of things I adored.

Then darkness came and reigned over my lovely rose;
Taking away its radiant appeal.
The color bled.
Its stem went limp.
My rose was dead.

Shattered Pieces

Inside my sleeve, I pull out my heart,
handing it to you, "careful it's fragile,
and easily falls apart."

Extending your arms, you take the heart in
your tender warm hands.
It falls into a million shattered pieces - on
the floor it lands.

You begin to bend down to pick it up, sorrow and
sadness in your eyes.

Apologies are not enough.

Looking at you with tears in my eyes,
I ask you not to pick up the pieces of a heart
that has fallen apart.

I am the one who needs to pick up the pieces of
my shattered heart - one by one, piece by piece.

I need to put it together again, some how. some way.

Each piece of my heart has a memory so true.
Each piece of my heart has part of you.

You are the one who is leaving to start a new lease on life.
I'll just be here on my knees picking up the pieces of a
heart that feels like it's being pierced with a knife.

All my tears won't keep you near
All my tears won't mend what's not here.

Again I look at you with a whisper in my voice,
The only way my heart will mend and finally be complete,
is if you and I can come together without being discreet.
You see, what we have here and today, helps me face the
world, with a love for you that gives a glow -
but now, my darling, you made a choice.

My heart is on this floor, shattered and broke.
With each piece I pick up -
I need to learn to let go.

Realms of my past,

Looking back in the Realms of my past,
Trying to remember when did I laugh last,

When was the breeze as cool as a Mother's touch,
When was the day when I was happy so much;

When the raindrops felt on me, seemed like kisses,
When I was 'I', keeping away all the riches;

The time which made me think I was in HEAVEN,
Flying, soaring high as if in CLOUD SEVEN;

Moments of eternal bliss, moments of hope,
The moments in which my fears, tensions and worries just eloped;

When even a harsh sound seemed like a LOVE SONG,
When everything seemed right and nothing was wrong;

When the only thing in my mind was LOVE & LOVE,
I felt I was free and could fly like a DOVE;

That blissful moment, which was more of a TREASURE,
It gave me My Life, the world of PLEASURE;

Looking back into the Realms of my past,
I can recall in a CLICK, its not that much far;

The days of such feelings, the days of pure DEVOTION,
Afew days back it all happened, when LIFE was in motion;

The days spent with my "ANGEL" come into my mind,
Those precious moments, those PEARLS and DIAMONDS I can never find;

The Love I received is enough for me,
To take care of myself and the gift given by thee;

Will spent rest of my life with the Dose called Angel's Love,
Coz the love is Pure, sent from ABOVE;

You may not be there with me always,
But still your love in my heart will lay;

Love seed sown, will be nurtured always,
Symbol of love, those golden rays;

My gratitude towards my Angel for showering ADORATION,
For giving me so much, and loving me with so much adulation;

To my angel I just wanna say,
You will be there on my mind all day;

Your Love I will find in the giggles of a child,
Your every emotion, may be harsh or mild;

Thanks for all that you gave to me ,
You made my Life, and life said to me;

"Keep moving 'Deepali'; for this is called 'LIFE',
You've still someone's LOVE to Cherish and Strive.